2001-08-01 - 9:04 p.m.

the dream was as follows:

i was in some kind of social setting. quite irrelevent what it was - some hoppin' spot.

and she blended into the crowd.

Ah but my dear, you can't fool me..

She was dressed quite mod. interesting. I confronted her:

"Hello."

She: [quite surprised] "Oh hi!" (obligatory hugs)

"Let's sit down somewhere."

And we did.

"Well I think this has turned out for the best. Honestly though, I'm getting along fine. What we had was nice while it lasted, but this is what works in actuality."

I was occupied. I'm not sure if I registered anything spoken. But that's ok; my love will mend what's been damaged. Busy, yes quite busy; studying each crease in her cheeks; the way her eyes repeatedly sigh. Such mindblowing famiiliarity; yet it had been days, weeks, months, years of silently endured torture since i had lain my eyes upon the muse.

"Oh, I think you're right."

This was all I could muster. how pathetic.

Aah Ludwig, how i adore thee. your "pathetique" resonates a bit more profoundly - and personally - than you might have ever anticipated.

She: "walk with me, then. We'll talk for a second then wrap things up." how efficient! What admiration he possessed.

I was completely in her mercy. Speechless. What could I interject with? I am so appropriately miniscule...

So I quietly listened. The story was dictacted, merely in her choice of words. Aah, sublime subtleties!

She: "Darling... You know I'm only killing time. My ride will be here soon and then I'll leave. and i'll be gone quite some time."

Before I had time to reflect on what was said, a car pulled up. Some gorgeously snide hipsters stumbled out. What perfect company for her, I thought.

And with a wave, and a quaint smile, she left.

I'm glad we could keep things orderly. No emotional baggage or outcries; no hysteria or public disruptions.

I thank you for that; for denying us of humanity.