2002-01-25 - 10:56 p.m.

the story goes:

The night prior to the dream, I had been reviewing some Kaballistic thoughts and trying to rehearse some Hebrew. This was obviously the main influence on the beginning of my dream.

I was walking aimlessly around my house and ran into Mazelle - an in-law; her name means "luck" in Hebrew. I kept repeating the name again and again, invoking its mystic or magickal properties. "Mazelle.. Mazelle," a chant of sorts. She had had enough of us. She was bugging my mom to drive her back to Israel (she actually lives in L.A., and that would be one hell of a transcontinental/transoceanic drive). Parts of Canaan are desertlike, and I either went outside, or reflected on the climate outside (no real difference between the two...), a desert; I realized I was purposely in an environment similar to the one in which Christ or Abraham walked. "To train the faithful...." I was overcome with a desire to make a pilgrimage and to further my Hebrew knowledge. Of course, what lies outside my door is the Promised Land, as is any inch of this Earth. So I stayed in the sin-filled burrough..

My house was being renovated. I ran upstairs and found my trusty mescaline source. A few hours later, I discovered that the speed of my hand movement was beyond the perceptive abilities of my eyes. So I was breaching some EM field or property of light, et al. And within my cells I knew I had to create music. I found a piano and realized I was a neo-Beethoven incarnate, writing in a style familiar to his existential image or archetype, but manipulating notes in a manner he was incapable of. So I was the full manifestation of his potential. Certain pieces I constructed resonated with a specific colour; I knew this was a reference to a mental condition I'd heard about in which music is perceived as visual color changes, or to the peyotl rituals of Mexican shamans in which they access "sacred" colours normally invisible to the perceiver - the catalyst being drum chants and primordial music. Saul Williams constructed imagery that ran perpendicular to my experience (and visually accessible thoughts), and he was walking through Eden as a drag queen. The trees were abnormally short, and he was forced to duck as he walked and was occasionally struck by flying branches. Every step he took was reiterated as external experience via poetry - of course it wasn't "he" who was talking, but the Spirit of the Cosmos in the guise of voice. Transmitting through him.

Back to the real world - I was at some hangout with a bunch of punk rock kids. These guys were PFR por vida. I became really annoyed and needed - not wanted - to leave. This was somewhere off Rancho, in a fairly shady neighborhood. I had no car. "I just need to make it to Gowan.. the rest will fall in place." One of the kids informed me, "There's no way you'll make it walking, this is the ghetto. He spoke the word as if I had never stumbled upon da 'hood before. I laughed. I then explained to him the gradient of ghettos or slums; since there was a fairly high-class building nearby with expensive decor, this raised the property value a bit. So this was merely a minor ghetto. I walked off.

I was in a forest, suddenly - very unslumlike - and a woman either A.) materialized directly in front of my eyes or B.) had been following a trail to the left of me until she began nearing me. She was a witch, a Gaian shaman so it was both. She spake:

"I have been in love with you since the fourth grade."

I was very confused. She was in her late twenties, possibly early thirties, so there was little chance I was alive when she was in fourth grade.

"I've been following... I mean, watching you, observing, since fourth grade."

She ended up being an elementary school teacher; the lavish building on the outskirts of the Comptonian paradise was her school. At one point, I frequented the forest and went on many walks. She would watch me through the window of her fourth grade classroom, transfixed; sickened by love. Yet, the perfection, innocence and naivety of she merely observing me, with me vaguely aware that someone was watching, convinced her that to speak with me would only ruin what was (unconsciously) known or cherished. She told me all of this, of course, merely by the shifting of her eyes.

She lived in a cabin in the forest. We headed towards it. I felt a sense of urgency - we need to get the hell out! We began to pull out when Bryan showed up. Apparently, he had been pursuing her for quite a while. During the first second of recognition, he looked shocked in his confusion; I quickly waved, somewhat overexcitedly. He returned it. She knew she couldn't respond to him; we took off.

A few hours passed, and they were completely nonsensical. I had only flashes of imagery, laughter, remnants of thoughts, stumbling, falling, running, with the hazy conception that it was all an elaborate hallucination. What the fuck??

"oh, it looks like you got into that.."

Plant matter was spilled everywhere, near overturned bowls. It was something like ephedrine - a natural chemical relative to amphetamine. I "accidentally" ingested it - she was using her witchcraft again - and I flipped out for hours, seconds, days? She implanted something in me, or maybe just found it entertaining to watch me foam at the mouth.

Bryan reappeared and followed us.. We were both lovesick by then.